Only when we accept our differences can we see our similarities …
I love this saying … it resonates so deeply with me on so many levels with so many different people in my life; it is a form of letting go of how we think people “should” be – our expectations! We carry around these expectations that people need to think, act, and behave just like we do or somehow they have not lived up to our expectations, who are we to have expectations of how other people live their lives?
This lesson has shown up for me as a parent with my two beautiful daughters, I used to have these expectations that they needed to fit into societies expectations of success, go to school, get a good job, find the right partner, get married, buy a house, own a car, blah blah blah as well as my own expectations of success, they should be similar or just like me so that I could feel successful and filled with pride, a job well done as a parent and its all bullshit.
The only thing I ever want for my children now is their happiness. I am beaming with pride and admiration that both of my daughters are living their lives outside of societies expectations, creating lives that work for them and they are happy. I accept and love them exactly for who they are, doesn’t mean I have to love all of their decisions, but I love each of them, unconditionally.
I have been witnessing the phenomenon unfold with my two beautiful daughters in their relationships with each other. As they grow and mature they are slowly accepting their differences and in turn getting a sneak peak at their similarities. I take a front row seat as the magic unfolds.
Vacationing with my dear friend has been a wonderful, enlightening experience. It is one of those experiences that you walk into not really knowing how it will all play out because the relationships we generally have with our girlfriends include coffee, lunch, walks, dancing, deep conversations over dinner and then you go back to your life until you meet again. On vacation together we are now living together essentially for 16 days in a bungalow, getting to know each other on a completely different level.
We are different, yet the same.
In the settling and accepting each other’s differences we have come to notice the similarities.
Patience and waiting have become part of this process for me and I have enjoyed watching myself as this acceptance has unfolded. It becomes a skill, a fine tuned, well practiced skill to be in the moment, especially the moments that challenge me, those moments that I must wait, those moments that I must adjust my usual way of doing things and shift. It is so easy, so conditioned to feel annoyance bubbling under the surface, to hear the mind, the chatter, the story making, sit with the fact that something is not happening at the speed with which I normally travel.
So many lessons; awareness of what is happening in the mind and moving into the body to see what is being illuminated.
Recognizing the conditioned pace at which I move through the world and my deep desire to slow down, my teacher has arrived in the form of Linda loo hoo. I watch, I become the witnessing awareness of myself as these teachings unfold.
I shine a light of curiosity onto myself and notice the shift – I feel it – my mind starts chattering, my body stiffens, paces, moves in the direction of the door. I notice. I shift back into the present moment and get curious – are you on a timeline, does it matter what time we get there, what could you be doing while you are waiting …
I shift into a productive mind space, I notice the beauty all around me and I b-r-e-a-t-h-e, I come back to gratitude and start noticing at all the things around me and I am grateful, I b r e a t h e.
I celebrate our differences and I fill my heart with love and appreciation for my beautiful friend as she works through her patterns of behaviour and comes rushing out the door and she is ready. I smile.
Believing that everything happens for a reason and at the right time; I shift into the idea that this is all part of the plan and know that the universe has it all under control all I have to do is be patient and WAIT.
COME INTO THIS MOMENT
SHIFT INTO SOMETHING THAT SERVES YOU – gratitude – love – compassion -understanding!
ENJOY EACH MOMENT …