The rain pelting down all around me, heavy pouring rain, large droplets dropping from the sky brings me an excitement, a childlike energy that wants to run out and play in the downpour getting soaked, laughing and jumping in the puddles. An internal knowing that there is a nourishing of the earth taking place. Allowing the beautiful lush greenery the opportunity for growth. A realization in the magic of the universe and how it all works together, the weather, the animals, the plants, each and everything in vibration doing its own thing to create this earth we call home. It reminds me that each and every creature/thing/object on this planet is here for a reason, with a very important job to perform to keep the intricate balance of each vibration vibrating.
I have always considered the rain a vexation, dreaded, dark, it is ominous, depressing; running from it, hiding from it, a shutting of the doors to keep it out, but today a new perspective; a new lens.
Each time the heavens open and the rain pours I get this feeling of excitement and I immediately want to walk in it and allow the droplets to purify my essence, today I went and walked in the rain and it felt so good to just allow this moisture, this wetness to rain over me, to allow the drops to slide down my face and soak my clothes appreciating each droplet as though this was the first time I had ever seen the rain. A joy escaping me as each new drop landed.
A feeling of opening up and letting go, it is the sky opening up and letting it’s tears fall upon us, letting us get wet, saturated, letting us realize that these tears are part of our human experience, reminding us to just cry when we need to cry, to let it all pour out, release and let go. It is a cleaning, a renewal.
I feel like my inner child comes rushing to the surface as the rain pours out of the sky, she wants to run and play and jump in the puddles, she wants to stand in the rain the get wet. I have the distinct pleasure of an outdoor bathroom in my tiny hut at the ashram, today I took a shower in the pouring rain, feeling the natural water pour out of the sky feeling the cool droplets from the sky landing on my naked skin while moving back and forth from the warmth of the hot shower to stepping out and letting the natural shower pelt down on my body, an experience that brought me extreme gratitude for where I am and what I am experiencing.
All of this so symbolic of this life we live on this earth as a human being. I have always loved and refer to the saying “I am a spiritual being have a human experience”. It is here that we are always teetering back and form from spirituality to humanness. It is where the rubber meets the road, it is where confusion often lies. I often have to remind myself and I am a spiritual being and I have come down to earth to live the life of a human, I have a mission, I have a purpose, a plan and I have to continually remind myself of this fact, it is so easy to forget and get stuck in the rat race, the continuous running in circles, the blame, the frustration of other humans, until I can remind myself that I am a spiritual being having a human experience.
What this means is simply coming back to the moment each and every time. If I am not ruminating about the past and worried about my future, I am right here in this moment and that is all there really is … this moment. I remind myself that this too shall pass, I remember that inside is where I find all the answers, the consolence, anything I need I simply have to sit in silence and talk to the supreme within me and allow it to uplift me and turn whatever it is into whatever serves me and points to love.
I am reading a book right now called “What Alice Forgot” it is about a woman who fell and bumped her head and lost 10 years of her life, when she comes to she honestly believes it is 10 years earlier and she is pregnant with her first child (she has three children now). As she moves through her life without any recollection of the last 10 years she is flabbergasted at who she has become, she realizes that the good friends she once called her friends and her sister are not close to her anymore and she has become a completely different person, conditioned to the materialistic world, a socialite with many fake materialistic friends that she doesn’t even like. She remembers her life when she was living in the moment, joyful for the little things, happy to just be with the people who simply got her as she was, no masks, no material possession, just simple love. As I took my morning walk today, I was thinking about this and life imagining if we could stop and take a look at where we are now, where we came from and who we have become, compare it to a simpler time in our lives when people mattered more than things.
It made me think about my life and my journey and how I have shifted and changed stepping out of my conditioning and started focusing on what is important, people, giving, having less, sharing, authenticity, being real, and cultivating inner peace among all the chaos of life, having balanced reciprocal relationships with people who want the same thing; with people who love me as I am without condition or expectation. No more fakeness, no more masks, no more needing to be someone that I am not to please others. It has been a long slow arduous journey step by step getting closer and close to being a spirit encapsulated in this form I call my body and finding a way to live a spiritual life in amongst the humans who are still asleep. Somedays are better than others. This is why I feel so strongly about surrounding myself with people on the same path, we need to remind each other of the beauty of this moment over and over again. I am grateful to all of you souls in my world who continue to remind me to come back to who I am really am and to those souls who draw me into ruminating about the past or worrying about the future because this too is a reminder for me to stop, pause, and go inside.
Its like the rain and perspective, coming to the realization that each and every experience, situation, moment can be perceived in one way or another and it is in the shifting of the lens that allows me to see the joy, the beauty, the untangled, the detached, to see the LOVE. To put aside my conditioning and see it from a spiritual lens which simply means from a loving perspective, to give compassion where compassion is needed, to give support where support is needed, to detach when detachment is needed, to let go when letting go is needed and to take the “personal” out of everything!
Unconditional love is a word I like to use but still find myself so conditioned in what love actually looks like, it is a place I wish to reside with much work left to do; I set an intention to continually step towards this beautiful bliss as I leave behind the conditioned beast I know so well, my EGO.
It’s a choice, really!