Anticipation, Excitement & Love

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The feelings are real – excitement, anticipation and true love.   I await the arrival of my daughter at the Bangkok International Airport.  I find myself unsure of what to do for the day, where to go and how to make time move faster, all I want is the moment I have been dreaming about for months to be here already.  My daughter, Jennifer Irene Mangold, is my soul partner and I have missed her more than words can describe.  It is a bond that connects two souls that aren’t that much different from one another; separated by a generation, roles and some genetics.  If we believe that everyone on our path, including our children, have come to this earth to help us learn what we have come here to learn then my heart is overflowing with the amount of teachings that this old soul has brought to me.

As a parent we naturally believe that is it our job to teach our children and certainly this is so but do we ever think that our children have chosen us for a specific reason and, that in fact, they are here to teach us as much as we are here to teach them.  Jennifer showed up as this outgoing, bubbly, fearless, blonde haired, green eyes beauty and from the moment she was put into my arms an overwhelming love bubbled out of my soul and it has just grown for 23, almost 24 years.  This soul would be partly responsible for my awakening in the early years, I simply couldn’t hide anymore with this energentic ball of energy by my side.  She was vivacious, gregarious and curious without a shy bone in her body and in order to keep up with her spirit I simply had to come out of mine.

She was the child that started conversations with people we didn’t know leaving me no choice but to converse with strangers.  She was the child sitting in the front seat of a grocery cart while shopping in the grocery store asking in her loudest, proudest voice why the lady in front of us had such a big butt!  Or the child on the bus who asked why that man-made funny faces, speaking of a disabled man sitting beside us.  Her curiosity lead us into many circumstances and situations that would leave me red-faced trying desperately to answer her curious non stop questions while silently apologizing to those who she may have inadvertently offended.  She was the child who tested me time and time again, she was the child who stood her ground, the child who banged to the beat of her own drum, she was the child who went through her rebellious stage at 12 years old leaving me dumbfounded and unsure.

She was the teenager who wanted to do it all herself, the one who dealt with her own teachers when things went off the rails.  She was the child who taught me to stand up and be an adult.  She was the child who pushed me away, disallowed me to parent her and she was the child, like every child there will ever be, who broke my heart.  Jenny challenges everything and everyone including herself, she stands up for what she believes in regardless of what society or anyone else thinks.

She would also be the child that helped me put my broken heart back together, the child who would step into my shoes and parent her father when my soul told me it was time to walk away.  She would be the one who would grow up way too fast and assume the responsibilities of an adult way before her time.  She is an old soul.  She was the child who helped me learn about boundaries and healthy relationships.  She would be the one to help me find my intuition and start to believe in its truth.  She would teach me to trust myself no matter how uncomfortable it felt.  She would teach me that I could get back up after freefalling off a cliff and no longer believing in myself.  She is the child who taught me how to forgive, how to build trust, how to love unconditionally.  She would teach me about perseverance, not letting go and letting go.  She would encourage me to follow my calling, to be a warrior, to open my heart and to love.

She is an old soul who has come to this earth to be a warrior, to serve, to be the spark that ignites the souls who need to be ignited.  She is a teacher, a role model, she embodies strength, courage and determination.  She is a bright light.

Jenny is one of those people who lights up my world, and anyone lucky enough to be in the front row of hers, being in her presence is nothing short of a soul to soul connection; everything else falls away when our souls unite.

You know when you have that person in your life that just gets you and you just get them, words rarely have to be spoken, it is energy that speaks, it is a knowing that speaks, the understanding between the two of you is not like any other relationship.  It is soul to soul.   This is what Jenny and I have and I will always cherish it will all of my heart.

As I sit waiting for her the tears continue to sting my eyes, the butterflies circling around my solar plexus, the smile won’t leave my face and my heart is swelling up 10 sizes bigger than its been in a long time.  The love I have for this child is indescribable, indefinable, nondescript and on a soul level that only two souls who are connected in such a way would be able to understand.

She is love.

 

 

 

 

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