There are many transitions in life; one of the significant ones is aging and accepting yourself as you are and letting go of “beautiful.” What makes you beautiful? For many years I relied upon my beauty as a real marker for who I was and my hair was one of those things that at all costs I would preserve in order to feel beautiful. Over the last few years I decided to stop coloring my hair and let the natural process of grey set in and allow myself to step out of society’s conditioning of what I was supposed to look like and let go. Upon leaving on this journey I cut most of my hair off and allowed the grey to be the natual colour of my hair and the length to be insignificant. It took some getting used to and leaving on a world-wide journey seemed like the perfect time to try this change on knowing that I would not feel the pressures of “my society” back home. I loved everything about it, how it felt and how it looked. There were certainly times I looked in the mirror horrified at what I had done and how I would be perceived in the world. I quickly got to experience a deeper understanding of instant judgement of the world around me. I had a person jump back in fright upon seeing my hair, I had a person tell me I looked like a dike and that I should ensure I wear lipstick and make up on my face when I stepped out into the world. There were times I considered this advice but quickly brought myself back to the reason I chose to cut and not colour my hair anymore -wanting to step out of “what I should look like.”
I have long wanted to shave my head but that step still seemed so far away until my fuzzy headed daughter showed up in the airport that day! She looked absolutely beautiful and cutting her hair off certainly didn’t change the beautiful glow that emitted from inside her soul. I was convinced in that moment that my time was near.
We would wake one morning in Phuket with one mission to accomplish, CUT IT OFF! I was nervous, of course, but wanted to take this final step in letting go of what I think makes me beautiful, my hair. We walked into the first barber shop and told him to cut it off. I was ready to take this bold step but not all the way YET! The barber pointed to a picture on the wall and said maybe we cut it like this, I said yes immediately. My vision was to do an undercut and leave a little security on the top, still a little unsure of letting it all go. Stages, everything requires stages.
Hair does not make ME beautiful!
TRUE BEAUTY IS THE LIGHT IN YOUR SOUL. BE WHO YOU ARE. GLOW FROM THE INSIDE OUT!!!!