I am conditioning and I am a large part of who you are, you don’t know who you are because I am such a big part of you. From the time you were brought into this world I started working through your parents, your teachers, your friends and even your colleagues
I, on the other hand, am authenticity! I am who you really are. I am big too and started out really big but I started to diminish as conditioning pushed it’s way into the mix. Conditioning shows up everywhere.
I taught you at a very young age that there is an acceptable way to present yourself to the world. Judgment is rampant no matter who you show up as, but if you show up as authenticity, you will not be accepted. With a strong need for acceptance you conform to who I think you should be, you become trapped inside the body and mind of the person you look into the mirror and see everyday.
I am on the inside, the small voice, the tiny whisper that asks you to listen. The whisper that asks you to feel the feelings in your body, hear the messages in your heart. I show you that acceptance comes from within, acceptance of the whole self, with love, compassion, friendship and loyalty. I teach you to become your own best friend. I accept you.
Everything feels hard – unnatural like there is something festering beneath the surface just begging for a little piece of acknowledgement – attention. It comes in the form of a voice, words in your head, a feeling in your body, it is something outside the realm of what I have taught you, its ethereal, divine, impalpable, like a fairy that has flown in for the moment to tell you a secret that only you can hear but I am boldly sitting on the other shoulder “shoulding” you into what you ought to be doing, striving for society’s condition of success that other stuff is only in fairy tales! Get a grip.
Everything feels right – natural. I am creativity. I am the kind, gentle, compassionate, self-loving voice, the one who wants you to succeed according to your own values, your own integrity, your own health, your own knowing. This is how you came into the world before conditioning got ahold of you.
I am the sliver festering, bubbling to the surface. I come in the form of a voice, words in your head, a feeling in your body. I am outside of the realm of what conditioning has taught you; I am ethereal, I am divine, I am impalpable, I am like a fairy that has flown in for the moment to tell you a secret that only you can hear. I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I am your soul. I am your voice. I am who you are.
I wear many masks, I come in a variety of shapes and sizes, I encourage you to keep your costume on and never take it off.
I encourage you to take off the masks and look into the mirror, really look into the mirror into your own eyes and acknowledge yourself with a smile, at first. I encourage you to wear masks that make you feel comfortable, I ask that you know your values, integrity and worth.
I help you to believe that this voice, these words, this feeling in your body is nothing and I encourage you to numb it out, chase it away because there is nothing really there. I help you to believe that you might be a little crazy, a little “off” buying into such nonsense. I am the voice of reason after all.
I become louder when you listen. I am balance.
I encourage you to find happiness in materialistic possessions and beam with pride when you have it all!
I ask you not to pay attention to the void that still bleeds inside of you.
I ask that you let go of materialism; I take comfort in gratitude and appreciation. I encourage you to find meaningful connections with people, deep connections that fill your soul.
I ask you to gain approval from the outside world. I get amused watching you chase your tail.
I encourage approval from the inside out.
I encourage you to have the right friends, I encourage you to keep these relationships on a surface level, keep the masks firmly in place, don’t let anyone see what you have hiding inside. It’s a death sentence.
In loving yourself first you will gain the capacity to love another. I allow you to sit in whatever has arrived, fear, love, anger, and happiness and mentor you to understand that we are a guesthouse. We are human beings and in this being human many visitors will come and go, I encourage opening the doors and inviting them it, sitting with them and having tea. Politely walking them to the door and inviting in the next visitor.
I allow for the natural change of the universal flow to progress through you and acknowledge its existence without shame but instead with love and compassion.
I ensure that judgment of self and others is a vital part of your existence.
I keep you in a place that bleeds fear and oppression.
I hold you prisoner from your soul and strive to keep your EGO alive and running the show at every possible turn
I encourage a constant look at the workings of your own EGO and ask that curiosity replace fear in the excavation.
I keep you off balance and unsteady. I keep you addicted to the high of my deep condition of success.
I can only ask that you trust, have faith and believe.
I want to you conform and be one of society whether it fits or not. One size fits all.
I am here to keep you real.
I am here to cause confusion and doubt, to allow you to believe that there is only one way, to conform.
I am here to guide the whispers of your soul, to allow you to believe that there are many ways; each one unique like a snowflake.
I am conditioning. I am your trusted friend with all of the answers. I am the master of deception.
I am authenticity.
I am open, real, filled with passion, energy and creativity. I am that little voice inside of you, the one you don’t listen too. I am the swirling in your solar plexus and the pain in your body – begging you to listen.
I am the one who is with you always!
I am you.