The shadow …

Tonight I attended a shadow writing workshop with a room full of people from all walks of life.  I stayed close to my body and soul, introspective and true to self.  I love writing workshops and enjoy what bounces off the page, it was simply me talking to me from a different perspective.  A conversation with God.  We rarely give our inner child or our shadow side any space to live or breathe, we spend an enormous amount of time trying to shut them down, ignore them, cover them up or mask them away, they can be scary and intimidating.  We like to stay comfortable, it is the human condition.

Tonight, real conversations with my shadow, as though the two of us were in a room together, though surrounded by people, we became intimate with one another.  I was curious to notice the shadow changing throughout the course of the night, changing from a darkness that I wanted to run from to a familiar friend who is already integrated and part of who I am.

What I didn’t realize is that it is a powerful part of who I am, she is the badass making bold moves!  She is driven to grow, she wants to break all the rules!

My shadow has introduced itself to me on a number of occasions, it is like making peace with the things that you are but it is not all of who you are.  Alcoholism was a shadow that haunted me for too many years, I looked it in the face, stared it down, checked out all the crevasses, gave it the attention it needed then put it on the shelf.

I have a shelf that contains all of my selves, the ones I have taken down, looked at from every angle, peered inside the cracks, and got to know it as intimately as I could then I put it down.  It is parts of me I wish to acknowledge and remember that they are still part of me, but they don’t rule me, only as a reminder of how far I have come.

Bi-polar was another part of my shadow that appeared way before I surrendered and gave it the attention it was seeking, peering at it from every direction, every angle, everything, I introduced myself, we got talking, and we came to terms with each other.  I surrendered and now we are integrated, familiar with one another, yet she sits on the shelf with little or no attention.

Tonight I realized that my shadow is also that sassy bitch who says whatever is on her mind, telling the truth even if it hurts your feelings.  She is the lover of red and wears it boldly and proudly.  She is bossy and powerful, she knows how to command a room, she wears herself proud!  Often seen wearing her superhero cape proudly!

 

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